Truth Is Black and White
by Devil's Demon
Summary: Remus Lupin is a perfect gentleman, obeys rules and respects others. What more could you ask from a mere teenager? But will he except responsiblity for his actions? rated M in later chapters


1Black and White

Chapter One: What Happened?

Evan James Lupin was the name my parents choose; naming me after my grandfather, Gregory Evan Black, and one of my father's friend, James Potter. I was what you called, an unexpected child. Both of my parents at the time, had not been ready for a child. In all reality, they had not been ready to have intercourse in the first place. My mother had not been seventeen when I was conceived. Some would say I was an inconvenience all around. My parents disagreed.

"Sirius! I know you're here! Lily told me you ran up here, and you can't hide." Catalina Black yelled, while searching the Gryffindor common room for her older brother."Sirius Lee Black, I want my property back! If you so much as open it, I'll have your head on a platter and serve it to.." She trailed off as she caught a glimpse of something moving behind the statue of Godric Gryffindor. She smiled, she couldn't mistake that form. Sirius' cowardly friend, Peter, hid in the corner, trying in vain to wrap the window curtain around himself. "Hello, Peter." Cal said sweetly.

Peter glanced up and flinched, " I don't know where he is, Cal, I swear." He mumbled through his hands, which he had protecting his face.

"Nice try, Pete. Now tell me, or I'll be forced to..." He scampered out from the statue, on his hands and knees, and stopped in front of her. "Well?" She provoked, arms folded across her chest, scowl playing on her face.

"Peter! how could you tell her where we were?" Sirius scolded, staring at his friend, discussed.

"Knock it off, Sirius." Cal reprimanded, removing her book from his hands. " Peter did the right thing, telling me you were hiding in the girl's dorm." She sniggered, and sat down on the Gryffindor's comfy red leather couch to inspect her diary. Remus Lupin, one of Sirius' best friends, took a seat next to her.

"You know, Catalina, he didn't read it, none of them did. James and him simply took it to make you mad." Remus smiled at her before adding, "Not that I would let them read it anyway."

She turned to him, grinning."I know you wouldn't let them, but I had every right to be concerned just the same. I mean, what if you wanted to read it?"

He rolled his eyes jokingly. "You know me too well to think that I would ever be able to sink so low as to delve into someone else's person life." He slid his arms around her slim waist, pulling her over to where her head rested on his chest. She sighed, as she closed her eyes, tightening her grip on the little black book. He ran his fingers through her long, soft, black hair, as he started to get comfortable.

James and Sirius stood off to the far side of the room where they made gagging noises as the couple continued to cuddle. "You know," James started, running his hand through his already messy hair. "just because you two shag like 'dogs' every night does not give you a right to..." Before he could finish the portrait hole swung open, and Lily Evans stalked in, her nose stuck in a copy of the latest Treason Fallen novel. James immediately forgot all what he was saying, instead he watched as Lily floated up the stone stairs to her dormitory. Turning back to Sirius, he faked a yawn, and mumbled "You know, I'm feeling a bit tired all of a sudden. I think I'll turn in for tonight." Then without a backwards glance, he raced up the stairs after his Fiancee.

"Hey, James! It's two in the afternoon, and that is the wrong dorm, you little pervert!" Sirius yelled, following his friend up the narrow hall.

"Yeah, like he's one to talk." Cal teased, snuggling deeper into Remus' chest.

Remus chuckled, "It's true though, what he said."

"Who are you talking about? James or Sirius?" Cal inquired, lifting herself up to look him in the eyes.

"James." He said innocently, holding back a smile. He knew he was going to be in trouble for that one, and waited for her reaction. Nothing happened. Instead, she settled back into her original position.

"I wish." She mumbled, and he gave her a puzzling look.

"You do?" He asked, slightly confused.

"Oh, Remus, we've been dating for three years. Don't you think we can afford to have a 'little' _fun_?"She didn't wait for an answer, before standing up and dragging him to his feet.

"Wait, Cally, we can't do this. It's against school rules. If we get caught, we _both_ could be expelled." Remus explained, gazing at her emerald eyes.

Her face fell in disappointment, but quickly grew into a smile as she whispered, "Then we can't be caught, can we?"

The consequences of my parents actions that night would not be kept secret for long. My mother was afraid to tell my father what had happened, believing he would leave her to raise me by herself. Not being able to face her fears, and tell my da, she went to talk to my 'Uncle Sev' instead.

Remus sat at the Gryffindor table next to Sirius at lunch. He watched as the rest of the group talk animatedly about the up coming Hogsmeade trip this weekend, while he himself pushed his food around his plate. Catalina had not spoken a word to him since that passionate night two months before, and frankly, he was worried. He would sit next to her in class and she would pretend as if he wasn't even there. He tried to start a conversation with her in the library not last week, and all she had done was stand up and march out without the tiniest hint of acknowledgment. He didn't understand. Had he offended her in someway as to make her hate him, or what? He wished desperately to know the truth. The more he thought about it, the more upset he got. Placing his fork down, he stood, having made up his mind to find out.

Chapter Two: Tell me what to do

Cal was walking the halls, searching for her friends. Nora would know to do at a time like this. "She'll probably tell me I was stupid to do something like that, and even more so for ending up like this." She reprimanded herself. Stopping at the end of the hall, she sighed. She placed a hand on the small of her stomach where she could barely start to feel the presence of a bump. Maybe going to her friends was a bad idea. But if not them, then who? Surely there had to be someone she could go to, something she could do. "What now?"

"Hey, Nora? Have you talked to Cal lately?" a fifth year Gryffindor girl asked her friend.

"No, actually, I haven't. Which is a big shocker, normally she doesn't shut up. Are you guys testing out a new silence toffee, or something? " The brunette girl replied, glancing up from her Astronomy homework.

"No, I haven't spoken to her for awhile myself. I was just starting to wonder if she was upset with me, or what? But then, she hasn't come to any meals in a week, and that is not like her at all. I don't know where she is, or what's going on, and frankly I'm a little concerned. I think something happened." the first girl spoke loudly, getting aggravated.

"Well, Gab, maybe you should go look for her. She might have visited Hagrid, or something Or better yet, go check the library. It really wouldn't surprise me if this whole thing is just over the fact that she wanted more study time.." Nora suggested, turning back to her work.

"Well it would me. That is just not like Cali to go off and not tell one of us." Gabrielle argued, and headed toward the door. "Are you coming?" She asked Nora.

"No, I think I'll stay here. It's getting dark." Without looking up Nora shook her head, and continued to work on her essay. "Besides, I have the up most faith that you can find her by yourself."

"Fine." Gabrielle huffed, snatched up her cloak and left the room.

"Severus, get up. I know you're not asleep. You never fall asleep at your station. It's pointlessly dangerous and stupid." Cally stood over her older cousin, in the Slytherin Common room. He was seated at a table, surrounded by piles of parchment, and he had rested his head on the smooth wooden surface. As she spoke, he lifted himself up, and turned to his cousin.

"Well, I am quite glad you picked up something from my continuous rantings. Now if only you could teach that skill to the first and second years..." Severus Snape stood, picking up the uneasy feeling Cali was giving off, and moved into an overstuffed green armchair. He beaconed her to follow suit. "What do you want, Catalina?"

Cali scowled."I want you to stop calling me Catalina, it's Cal or Cali, alright?" She said, and took a seat on the silver couch, which sat directly across from the fire.

"Why? You allow the stupid werewolf to call you that. Why..." He stopped immediately. She had shuttered at the mention of Remus. This struck his curiosity. He wanted to know why her beloved got such a reaction. "Why did you flinch?" Severus asked, a sneer playing on his lips. "What did he do?"

There was a few moments silence, Cali stared at the dancing shadows of the embers on the wooden floor, before she broke into tears. Now most people who actually knew Severus, knew he was not all a bad guy, so when his cousin started to cry, he became worried. "Cali?" He shifted in his seat

She had her face hidden in her hands as she tried to speak."I..I ...am...pregnant." She managed to get out, between sobs.

"YOU'RE WHAT!" Severus screamed, rising from his chair. "The Werewolf got you pregnant!? How could you let him? What were you thinking? Merlin, are you really that incompetent that you went and had underage intercourse without the use of protection? Better yet, you had intercourse? I expected better from you! You..you..." His voice died and his anger subsided a fraction, as he caught sight of Cali in a heaving pile on the floor. Her hands still covered her face and her shoulders shook in silent sobs. Severus ran his hands down his own face and sat down next to her, wrapping an arm around her.

"It...was my... fault, Sev. He didn't...didn't think... it was...was a good idea, and..." She leaned into his embrace, and continued to weep.

He shook his head. Out of all the foolish girls to waste their talent to become something useful in this society, he never expected his cousin to be one of them. "Does he know?" Severus inquired softly, though he knew the answer already. Cali's head squirmed against his chest, and a quiet 'no' was mumbled. He closed his eyes and sighed deep. "I think he deserves to know. It is, after all, half his." Cali's head bolted up, and Sev could see her eyes were blood-shot and her face was pleading.

"No, Sev, I can't. He won't want anything to do with me if he finds out. I just can't tell him. Please, no." She broke down once more, and Severus helped her back onto the couch.

"Cata..." He stopped, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Cali, you know that once you start showing the news will spread like wildfire, and eventually he'll get wind of it. So, you have a choice. You can tell him yourself, or you can wait until some stranger tells him." Severus made eye contact with Cali, before he finished. " Personally, I believe the more prudent choice would go for telling him yourself. He'd be better off hearing it from you. He needs to here it from you."

Cali nodded, slowly standing."I understand. It's only the right thing to do." She started for the door, but came to a halt half way. Fear gripped at her insides, and she realized that what had come to her mind could actually be a consequence. "What if he rejects me?" She asked in a voice barely above a whisper. She had turned to look back.

Sev saw the terrified look on her face, and replied, "Catalina, if he rejects you, he doesn't know what he's going to be missing, and you deserve better." Cali nodded slowly, stupidly. She felt like she had slipped into a second detention, a dream state, where nothing felt real. She reached over and pinched herself hard in the arm. Damn, it hurt.

Cali left the dungeons and walked the halls, buying some time before she had to tell Remus. She had just walked past the Great Hall, when the thought returned, 'What if he really does reject me?' It hadn't seemed like an actual option, now she knew he could. What would a guy so perfect and wonderful like Remus ever do with a girl so lowly, and unwanted now, me?

"_...he doesn't know what he's going to be missing, and he doesn't deserve you."_ Severus' voice repeated in her head. A single tear slid down her face. Oh God, that was it, she had ruined it, the perfect ending. Remus had started to talk about marriage just a week before the incident, and now she had ruined that. He would never bond to her now. It had been her fault that they had even had sex. He hadn't wanted to, and she made him do it. Now she was going to lose him, because she was pregnant. Her head hung in shame, she made it to the other side of the entry way when she stopped dead in her tracks. Another horrifying thought had hit her. She would be kicked out of school, she was only sixteen. School was a privilege, not a right. As a Hogwarts's student she had a home, a place to live, food to eat. Once the headmaster found out her predicament, she would lose that. Nobody wanted her at home, she'd have to live on the streets, in a home for teen mothers, or something along those lines. She stumbled over to the nearest wall, trying to steady herself, but it was to no avail. She collapsed to the floor, but she knew she had no more tears left to cry, so she just sat there. She wrapped her arms around her knees, bringing them closer to her. She whimpered, and settled her head on her knees. The Great Hall door burst open a little ways down the hall, but she didn't care. There was nothing left for her. With her own stupidity she had lost everything that she held dear.

She heard footsteps approaching, and as they came closer they ceased. A hand came to rest on her shoulder, as someone gently whispered, "Cal...?"

Remus strode out of the Gryffindor common room, his pace was quick and his facial expression was serious. Anyone could tell he was on the search, but as for what, no one knew. He made his way down the stairs, past the six and fifth floor classrooms. Classes were in session, she wouldn't be in there. Common rooms, both Gryffindor and Slytherin; nothing, Library; nothing, kitchen; nothing, Hagrid's hut; still nothing. Where on earth was she? Where had he not checked yet?

"Merlin, Catalina, where are you?" Remus turned the corner and descended another flight of steps. With every floor he past he grew more anxious. Frantic questions ran rapid through his mind. Was she hurt? Is she safe? Is she dead? If only someone had seen her, could give him the general direction she went. Anything was better then nothing.

He stopped abruptly. He felt a strange tingling on the back of his neck. Something was wrong. The hairs on his arms stood on end, and he shivered all over."oh, no...Cali." Walking a tad quicker then before Remus turned the end of the corridor. He cursed loudly as the stairs he was about to take, shifted direction, and decided to go back up instead of down to level two. "Blasted bloody stairs!" Turning back, he flew down another side corridor, and to the second pair of stairs. He broke into a jog once he reached the second floor. He was half way down the main staircase when he heard it, a scream, her scream. He tore off running full throttle towards the dungeon entrance where he seemed to have originated from. He wasn't far now, her screams had gotten louder and higher pitched. There it was, not fifteen feet in front of him. He was pushing himself hard. Merlin, PLEASE! He had to make it, he had to. He rounded the bend, and was just in time to see a blond haired man and Cali disappear. "NO!!" He shouted and ran to the spot where they had been not minutes before. Nothing, they were gone.

"Lupin?" Remus spun around to see Severus dashing up the last pair of stairs from the dungeons, and took a stand next to the wall. "What is all the commotion about?" Severus inquired, glancing around. "I heard screaming."

"Lucius. He has her." Remus spat, punching the wall beside him.

A brief moment of silence ensued. "Oh WANKER!" Was Severus' reply. He knew what that meant. The dark lord sent his favorite out to do a little kidnaping. Voldemort had been discussing wanting another werewolf to replace his old one. He wanted one that would take orders this time. A wolf that not could not, but would not think independently. One that had something to ensure that his work be done properly. Someone with leverage to offer. "He knows about the baby."

Well, it was not the way anyone really wanted to notify my da about me, but it sort of slipped. The Dark Lord had sent out Lucius to track down and bring back my mum so he may be able to use her lycanthropy to hunt down and kill what he referred to as, 'unwanted'. But my mum would never have agreed to preform such horrifying tasks, well at least that was what she believed.

Cali screamed as Lucius brought her off his shoulder, and dropped her to the forest ground. "Shut up!" he yelled, and slapped her hard across the face. She stopped screaming immediately. Her face felt like it was on fire, and she would swear her eye just exploded. "Congratulations Black, you've just become the rightful property of Lord Voldemort." He sneered down at her in that aristocratic manner of his. "Tell me, how does that make you feel?"

Cali burned with hatred as she stared up at the man that had once been her close friend. She spat at him, then got back up onto her feet. "Go burn in hell, Malfoy! I belong to no one."

It had been the wrong thing to say. He reached out and snatched her by the back of her head. Backing her up against a tree trunk he spoke again. "You will never speak to me like that again, is that understood? You will learn show respect to your superiors, if I have to teach you myself." He tugged hard on her hair, making her whimper, but she stood strong.

"I will talk to you in any manner I want. You don't scare me anymore, Lucius. Why would I be scared of a man, who is terrified himself?"

His eyes flared for a moment, before becoming stoic once more. "Pretty little Catalina has gotten herself into trouble again." he paused, pulling close to his face. "And this time, no one will come to save you, no matter how much you plead. Not even I." He studied her a moment longer, then without warning leaned down and kissed her.

Cali's eyes grew wide in surprise, and she stood there in utter shock. Then she flipped. She pushed hard against his chest, but it was to no avail. Every time she pushed, he tugged harder at her hair. At one point he tugged too hard, causing her to scream. This had definitely not helped matters, as Lucius had taken that as an opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth. That had resulted in her freaking out more. She pushed and pulled, she had to get away, but he was too strong for her.

He ended the kiss then. "I had always wanted to do that." He chuckled as he saw the moisture that had built up in her eyes. "Perhaps the Dark Lord will permit me a little more enjoyment before your lovely spirit is wasted. Merlin knows it won't be half as exciting without you struggling."

Cali couldn't stop it, she hated herself because of it, but the tears refused to stop. She felt their heat on her face, and she was plunged into despair. Sweet Merlin, he was right. There really was no one around that would save her. None of her friends knew what had happened. Hell they didn't even know what was going on. Well, everyone but Severus, but she had left him alone in the dungeons to read more then thirty minutes before she had run into Malfoy.

Lucius threw her to the ground, and she landed on a little pile of rocks, which scrapped the palms of her hands. "Stop it! Your tears won't help you here. They may even make matters worse, for the Dark Lord hates the showcase of fear, and even more so tears." He kicked her in the side and she screamed once more. In punishment for her weakness, she supposed, he did it again, twice, three times, four. Multiple times she fought to get back up, to defend herself, to run away, but every time she just managed to receive a swift kick to the stomach instead. Finally, after about ten kicks, she just stopped, what else could she do. If she fought, he would kick harder, and if she screamed, he would reach down and yank on her hair some more. There was no point. She had no more strength to try to stop him anymore. She was weak, her ribs were broken, she could feel it. Her head pounded, right along with her leg which he had broke after her last attempt to stand. It really was the end. And yet she knew there would be more. Voldemort would not let him end her right there. She had been brought there for a purpose. What was it? And what good would it do him having her in a state unable to do anything at all?

The beating stopped. She was conscious enough to tell that much. As to when it stopped, or what the damage was, she had no clue. But what scared her the most, was not the fact that she could not see, or that she feared for her baby, but she did not know why he had stopped. She strained her ears for any sound. There was nothing there for her to pick up, but the sounds of the forest life around her. Where had he gone off to? Then she heard it, branches snapping a little off to her left, not far, she would had guessed, from the tree she had been thrust against earlier. All of a sudden, she was being lifted from her position on the ground. But she noticed it was not by hands, but rather evenly floated up by magic.

"I'm sorry." If she was sure her face was not split in two, like it felt it was, she would have scrunched her face. Why was he apologizing?

Remus was furious. Cali was pregnant? Cali was two months pregnant, and he hadn't been notified. What was the matter? Was it not his? Did she not want the child, and therefore did not feel the need to tell him, as she was going to get rid of it anyways? "DAMN IT!!" His roar echoed off the walls in the Great Hall, and reverberated back to him. He slumped in his seat, resting his face in his hands.


End file.
